The desire to become a mother can never show up in a woman. A psychologist analyses this phenomenon as being questioned and the myth of the maternal instinct.
They can't stand children, do not dream of becoming mothers or decide to prioritize the scope of work. Are women who without a doubt do not possess a maternal instinct, because they do not want to have children, referred to commonly as NoMo, that is to say, Not Mothers.
The majority of these women must be able to withstand continuously the questioning of family, friends and, ultimately, of society. “What is something wrong with you? Perhaps you haven't emerged the maternal instinct”, is one of the phrases frequently heard.
And, is there anything wrong in not wanting to be mothers? “No. Motherhood, increasingly, it is a desire associated with the subjectivity, of the individual's own experiences-biographical, to the ideals that women build for themselves, and to their vital projects,” explains Mary Esther Buzzoni, secretary of studies of the School of Psychology of the University of the Pacific.
Among the main reasons of not wanting to be the mom found the prioritisation of the professional development, the concern in the economic area, considering that the world today is not healthy for the new generations, to think that you're not ready to be a mother and because you simply do not like children.
Famous actresses and models have given explanations of this type and have been the target of criticism. It is the case of Cameron Diaz, who declared that “somehow I have the life I have because I do not have children. It's just a different choice”.
Even so, the society continually criticizes and condemns women who do not wish to become mothers. “The judgment on the women who today choose not to have children is complex and reveals that the culture has not stripped completely of a system of thought dichotomic, that is to say, that divides reality into two opposite and it builds an association invisible between the categories. For example, ‘man’ is associated with words such as ‘male’, ‘productive’, ‘public’ and ‘dominant’, among others. To the category ‘woman’, additionally, they associated the words ‘women’, ‘reproductive’, ‘domestic’ and ‘passive’, among others”, said Buzzoni.
According to the psychologist, the association between women and reproduction (maternity) should disappear. “Motherhood today is far from be the direct result of sexuality in the woman and in no way is associated to the condition of women. In 2015, 64-year milestone in which Carl Djerassi awarded a patent for the contraceptive pill, which was opened to women the possibility of separating specifically the sexuality of the reproduction, it seems incredible that we still ask ourselves about the relationship between motherhood and femininity and that, in some senses, we live over the course of the maternal instinct”, argues the professor of the School of Psychology of the University of the Pacific.
And is that what is commonly understood as a “maternal instinct”, from the perspective of psychological is considered a myth. “The cultural association between the words woman, female and reproductive, is located at the base of the myth of the maternal instinct. The challenge of motherhood, in many cases, it is today a challenge of parenthood, that is to say faces and it is assumed more than ever in the context of the possibilities of couples in the space of intimacy, where not only are the desires of a woman, but the chances of that couple of receive to a third party who is called the son,” says the expert.
With the entry of women into the world of work, the decision to have a child and take care of him appears more complex. “Motherhood today is not an alternative to professional life, but a challenge in itself, women face or not, placing it at the front of multiple desires and projects that demand of it a capacity for agenciar their resources to cognitive, affective, economic, social, etc,” concludes Mary Esther Buzzoni, secretary of studies of the School of Psychology of the U. of the Pacific.