Divorce is a reality that affects ever more families, sometimes with problems as serious as physical violence, psychological, trickery or simply by realizing that the relationship is not healthy or constructive so it is better to take different paths.
What is the reason of the separation of the couple is always necessary to ensure the well-being of those who look at this situation as bystanders, the children.
For your little ones to go through this process, it is usually not from one day to another, in the healthiest way possible, is that we can give you guidelines that will help you care for the well-being of your children. Be careful!
Don't talk poorly of your ex
You probably have every reason to be angry or hurt with your ex-partner, perhaps the behavior has been wrong, and would not amend their conduct, however to speak ill of him in front of your kids will only make harm to your little ones, feeling themselves threatened to speak poorly of his father, which certainly has an important place in his heart . In addition to creating uncertainties as to destroy his image with paternal destroy a sign of confidence of the child. Remember that what is most important is that this process is least painful for the children, so it is your job as a parent to keep him from these damages that unwittingly you may be causing by your words.
Discuss with others the details of your divorce when your children are present
We know how important that you desahogues in the face of such a complex situation such as a divorce, especially with the people close to you, but if your children see this outpouring and listen to private things that correspond only to the couple, the damage you can be causing it could be irreversible.
Be very careful when having this type of conversation and always keep in mind that even though children seem to do another thing, in reality they are listening and penetrating deep into their feelings for each word that enters their ears.
Attacks of crying
Outsource your anger, grief and any feelings will always be positive, do it and live your healing process. However never do it in front of your kids, they will trust that all will go well and see you screaming or burst into tears without control will only create uncertainty in them, be very careful there.
Discuss with your ex in front of your children
When you start the cycle of divorce or you are in the middle of it, both spouses are with the pain in the skin, so that any thing, however small, exasperated tempers and can generate great discussions. Although, it is extremely difficult to be measured to the hour of feeling offended, you must remember that your higher good is the welfare of your children, so when faced with this situation it would be good to use phrases such as “do You think that let's talk about this another time?” or just go to another place for a moment, breathe, and respond that it is a topic that you prefer to talk then. We know the self-control that is indescribable that requires you to react that way, but we also know that candles, because your children do not suffer, so think of them before you answer anything.
Make your children “your side”
This attitude may seem childish but it is more common than you may think. The want the empathy of your children and you to put the place of “the good” can make you generate a lot of angst and insecurity in the small for not wanting to do anything that would be treason for you. Do not generate with that anguish, and let them enjoy their mother and father in the same way. They, at their young age, do not have the discernment to understand many issues of separation, when large perhaps understand and that is when they will talk what that corresponds to on both sides. For the moment, remember that your role is for them to leave the least damaged in this process that by itself is very painful.
Use them to get information
Probably your children to handle a lot of information to the parent who no longer lives at home, or at least a lot more than you manage. There are many things that you should know for the well-being of your child and make sure you are well physically and emotionally, however there are others that it doesn't really matter and you simply know it is for interfere unnecessarily in matters that no longer concerns you. Don't raise your child in a conflict of interest by not wanting to betray one and hide information to another.
Show her things have changed but the health of him, well-being and love from both parents towards him are kept intact.
There are many other things that you can do, you probably you'll discover on the way, but always keep clarity of mind to deal with situations that you can out of tenons. Remember that any discussion you win is worth more that your children are well and not damaged by decisions of adults