It is one of the traumas most large for a child: see depart from their parents through a divorce. How do I lessen this pain? If you're going through this experience, your child requires your support, love and protection, at the time that it deserves all the explanations.
There are periods particularly delicate, since the child is in need of references stable: the first few months of life, then between 3 and 6 years and in adolescence. You must reaffirm to your child the following:
It is not your fault
The children understand the situations in function of themselves, so always think that what is around you is influenced by what they do. The same can happen with the separation, wondering if the dad or mom to be is due to something they did or neglected to do. Even if you do not say anything, it's a real concern, so you have to convey to him that it is not responsible for what happened to her parents.
That will always be the love of their fathers
Let him see that nothing will change the intensity of your feelings towards him, which always ensure your safety and that you will have a very important place in your heart. Reafírmale your affection in the same way when changing other family circumstances, such as the inclusion of stepbrothers or stepsisters in your life or a new partner for one of their parents.
That their feelings are valid
The child needs to express their feelings, which will be very varied, from anger to grief. It is normal and understandable that you will experience negative feelings that make you feel powerless. Therefore, as parents must understand and accept their crisis, even their tantrums or their silences. Accept your pain gives you a chance to overcome it, so you don't have to reject your feelings.
Your world will not fall apart
It is also expected that the small or young you have a lot of doubts in respect to the conformation of your universe, fearing that it is to become vulnerable. You might suspect of a move, a change of school, or have concerns about where you will spend the holidays or vacation. Answer their questions with clarity, providing references, stable. The ideal is to preserve as much as possible their world, habits, and spaces.