This is the last shopping weekend of the Santa Claus. Many gift requests for the children, as they are exhausted and others, due to their high cost, just to many pockets it is not possible to buy them. A psychologist at the University of the Pacific, advises how to deal with this December 25, when the sleigh of Santa Claus can not bring the gift desired.
The letter to Santa Claus what resists it all: from infinite lists until that gift only dreamed of, many times unattainable. And is that for the vast majority of the small household, Christmas is a date where you can ask whatever. This is where some of the helpers of Santa Claus are willing to leave the feet on the street to find the famous gift and, many times, should pull out the calculator and determine that the gift will be another because the budget is not enough.
“Why a parent might come to think that it does not give everything that the son want to is a problem?”, question the director of the School of Psychology of the University of the Pacific, Carmen Gutierrez. “Not give the gift that waiting is not necessarily something harmful for the child. Should not give precedence to the desire, greed, compulsive to have it all. If you can't give the other all he asks is not to be bad”, explains the specialist.
However, many times smaller, when unwrapping his present under the tree and see that it is not what you asked for, break down in tears and continue to face disappointment for the rest of the day. “If the child does not put any limit, obviously, when it comes to Christmas and you don't have the money to buy the gift that you expect, of course it's going to be a problem. But that conflict is not going to be for the gift or the occasion itself, but because the family did not put limits on the child from before,” says the psychologist.
Contrary to what you might think, the children go through this type of situations does not constitute a psychological trauma. “Life involves frustration and the coexistence with the other involves to have an edge where the ‘no’ of the other is legitimate. The frustration is not in itself a harm, or pain to the child, it is just frustration,” says the professor of the University of the Pacific.
If the neighbor or your friends did obtain this desired, the child is questioned even more. How to explain to small the economic reason? “Obviously there's going to be social pressure,and there is where the family, which may mediate or filter the influence of others. There is No why to hide the child for what you could not give him what he wanted. They have to modulate that, pointing out what different essential to the accessory, are the parents of coexistence”, he says.
The children cry and protest for not getting the gift you want for Christmas sometimes causes a crisis in the parents, who may come to question their work. There are the adults who must analyze what is the true value you are giving to material things.
“If the parent feels unable to root this situation, that has to do with where the person is placing the value. Possibly these parents feel in debt with their children, work too much, to see you shortly, etc., it Is there when you begin to value things that do not necessarily have value. The gift begins to acquire a significance that has not, under the thinking that the only way to show affection is through gifts-physical, that are going to be insatiable. Have to see what other needs you are fulfilling through to say yes to everything,” says Carmen Gutierrez, the director of the School of Psychology of the University of the Pacific.