If you're a mother you have said any of the following phrases: "do Not carry, you are going to bad habit", "If it's not loose then it will not allow you to do anything" "No leave it in the cradle or never at all shalt thou bring forth thy bed." And if you're like me, insurance is also hate to listen to them.
Despite what many people say and claim, it is not possible to spoil a baby by "excess of affection", on the contrary, it will benefit them. They are not going to get used to the arms, you're not going to control or dominate and much less to manipulate. I'll explain why.
Give your baby what it needs not what will be spoiled
Imagine spending all your life -the only life that you know - within a cave, warm and comfortable. No one bothers you, you feel safe and you are happy. Then, one day, the space begins to feel quite small because you have grown and you decide that maybe it's time to go and see what there is beyond. Find out who owns that sweet voice that you hear all the time. So salts, fearful but determined.
And it turns out that the outside world is not what you have imagined, or look like your cave. It is just the opposite. It is cold, there is plenty of light, lots of noise and many strange beings that move around and they look at you and speak as if you knew them. Gives you something of fear, does it not? That security that you had in your cave has disappeared. Now you find yourself alone in an unfamiliar place.
But then, you hear it. You acknowledge that voice that is so familiar. Rolling and she is there, smiling and gazing at you with love. And suddenly, all the fears, all of those insecurities that you had, disappear. She is here to take care of you, protect you and guide you. Just what you need to start to get familiar with this new world.
This is how it feels to a newborn. Or at least as I imagine they do. It must be difficult for them to go from being in a quiet and private location, the bustle and crowd (because let's remember that before it was only him) from the outside world.
Think of a situation in which you have been, where you been the new, or newly arrived. A new job, the first day of school or going to live in a different country. Don't know anyone, you don't know where things are or how it works this new place. You need a guide. In the companies is the Human Resources staff or a co-worker. In the school the teachers and school staff. In a country other than perhaps the person that you rent your new home or your new neighbors. The fact that you help and give a hand the first few weeks will not make you dependent on them, right? As you must imagine where I want to go with these examples.
After birth, it is our mother who guides us. Who cares for us and teaches us new things. Although as adults because we are more sure of ourselves when it comes to start in a new place, being babies, we are not. We are indefensible and totally dependent. So is your baby. Sometimes all that is required is that you take it in your arms for you to feel better.
During its first few years, you will need to keep it close to you to protect it and see for he, teach you everything you need to learn, so that eventually he is able to do things, increase your security and can go it alone through the world.
Why not bad habit
Give her the affection and company that your baby needs in their first months or years of life will not spoiled, because even though human beings are social by nature, we also like to be independent. As we grow and stop being babies, we enter a stage of constant search of new things and do all kinds of discoveries.
When my daughter was a baby they used to tell me not to charge so much, because he was going to bad habit and as a new mother I was really afraid that would happen. But I felt bad to let her cry in the crib or know that she suffered when pulling away from me. So I followed my instinct and began to load it as many times as I want, each time she asked me and until we decided to try co-sleeping, that's here to stay. While my daughter in my arms, we were all happier. Sure if this I read someone who thinks that babies are bad habit think that was a recipe for disaster and for that I had no life of its own.
But life alone is going to be taught things. First when my daughter started crawling, and fleeing him faster than he could me. Later, when he began to walk more fun for her to do a prank and leave it running in the opposite direction. Once in a while I still allowed to charge you. But when he was already an expert at that of the walk, wanted to go it alone, to all sides. Do you charge it? How, if you had a whole world to explore and no longer needed mom to carry it from one place to another.
This is the normal development of children, all these are stages in which you need certain things, but no it is forever. So my advice is the following: load your baby as much as you want, embrace it as many times as you can and the time you both need. That one day will grow and long again that is tiny to have him in your arms.